people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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