i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
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