Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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