I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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