My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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