dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
