can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
