Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize