Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
