The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
