she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
