He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
