So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
