Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
