We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
