I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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