There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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