So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
