My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Your penis caused this!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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