We got so high we made milksteak
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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