I will die if light touches me.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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