either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
