This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
she looked like the before picture.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Randomize
