If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
