Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
