For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
