Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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