I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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