legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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