the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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