If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
