Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
