either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
