i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
