I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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