i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
