my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize