It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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