Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
