i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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