I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
the liver wants what the liver wants
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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