I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Don't make out with my wife yet
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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