We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize
