What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize