this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
