make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
