There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
