Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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