Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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