I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
