i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
