So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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