allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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