I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
