She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
