ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
