just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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