they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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