I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
smell my finger.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
