Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
