so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
the raccoons are back...
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